Luke Toulson review

Have managed to retrieve a review written for the Evening News Festival guide. The piece (about an unbearably smug comedian) has since mysteriously disappeared off the face of the Scotsman website and, indeed, the rest of the internet.
So, apologies to Mr Toulson:

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Luke Toulson: There are many things I can't do (*)

There is an important distinction to be made between bad comedy and simply dying on stage. At best, Luke Toulson is a bad comedian: tonight however, he falls into the latter category.
Despite holding a Hackney Empire Award - an accolade that kick-started Russell Brand's comedy career - it is near impossible to pick out a single redeeming feature to this act.
Aside from Toulson's rugged good looks, the only appeal in watching him lies in an element of sick fascination as you witness his car-crash act go from bad to worse.
On top of a couple of unimaginative and painfully stereotypical jibes at the Scots, Toulson bitterly laments losing out on the Perrier Award in between looking at his watch and expressing frustration that the show isn't yet over.
With an act that is devoid of talent or even enthusiasm, it seems unfair to gift Toulson with the oxygen of publicity but it is vital to alert festival-goers that there really are many things Luke Toulson can't do. Stand-up comedy is one of them.